Some days of pregnancy call for a quote that makes you cry in the best possible way. Some days call for something that makes you laugh so hard your bump shakes.
This collection has both. Heartfelt ones for the moments you want to feel the weight and wonder of what is happening. Funny ones for when you need someone to articulate exactly how you feel about the third trimester.
Save the ones that land. Screenshot the ones you want to put in the nursery. Share the ones that describe your current state to anyone who will listen.
Funny Pregnancy Quotes
Because sometimes the only appropriate response to being pregnant is a very specific kind of humour.
1. “Being pregnant is an occupational hazard of being a wife.”
2. “Pregnancy is getting company inside one’s skin.”
3. “I’m not fat. I’m growing a human. There’s a difference.”
4. “Pregnancy: the only time in your life you can do nothing and still be productive.”
5. “I never understood why people wanted epidurals until I was in labour. Then I understood immediately.”
6. “Sleeping when the baby sleeps sounds great until you realize the baby sleeps for twenty minutes and wakes up ready to party.”
7. “Pregnancy brain is real. I put the remote in the fridge and spent fifteen minutes looking for it.”
8. “The first trimester: surviving. The second trimester: thriving. The third trimester: just get this baby out.”
9. “I thought I knew what tired felt like before I got pregnant. I did not.”
10. “Eating for two sounds exciting until you spend the first trimester not being able to eat anything at all.”
11. “My body is not a temple. It is a very busy construction site.”
12. “People keep telling me to sleep now before the baby comes. I cannot sleep. Have you seen the size of this bump?”
13. “Pregnancy is nature’s way of making sure you appreciate being able to breathe normally.”
14. “I used to think I was a morning person. Pregnancy has cured me of that completely.”
15. “My ankles have been replaced with two small loaves of bread. I am unsure when they are coming back.”
16. “The baby is not going to remember any of this. The mother will remember all of it forever.”
17. “Being pregnant means your emotions have emotions.”
18. “Every kick is a reminder that you have someone very small and very opinionated living inside you.”
19. “Maternity leave is not a holiday. I cannot stress this enough.”
20. “I did not know what heartburn was until week twenty-eight. I now understand it on a profound level.”
21. “People ask if I have a birth plan. My plan is to get the baby out. That is the whole plan.”
22. “Third trimester: when putting on socks becomes a significant achievement that deserves recognition.”
23. “My superpower is growing a human. I feel this entitles me to the last of the biscuits.”
24. “Pregnancy glow is just sweat. We are all sweating.”
25. “I am not waddling. I am walking with purpose in a very specific direction.”
26. “There is no privacy in pregnancy. Everyone has opinions about your body and they are not shy about sharing them.”
27. “The ability to sneeze without incident is something I will never take for granted again.”
28. “People ask how I feel. I feel like I am carrying another person inside me because I am carrying another person inside me.”
29. “Nesting instinct is when you are thirty-six weeks pregnant and decide at midnight that the cupboards need reorganising immediately.”
30. “Having a baby is like getting a tattoo on your face. You kind of want to be certain before you commit.”
Heartfelt Pregnancy Quotes
The ones that say what you cannot always find the words for yourself.
31. “Making the decision to have a child is momentous. It is to decide forever to have your heart go walking around outside your body.”
32. “A baby fills a place in your heart that you never knew was empty.”
33. “Before you were born I carried you under my heart. From the moment you arrived in this world you have lived there.”
34. “You are already the love of my life and I have not even met you yet.”
35. “Something magical happens when parents are expecting a baby. The new life growing inside transforms the couple into a family.”
36. “A mother does not become pregnant in order to provide employment to obstetricians. In the same way, a country does not go to war in order to provide opportunities for heroism.”
37. “Growing a baby is the most extraordinary thing a body can do.”
38. “The moment a child is born, the mother is also born. She never existed before. The woman existed, but the mother, never. A mother is something absolutely new.”
39. “I am not the same person I was before I found out you were coming. I am better.”
40. “Feeling that movement for the first time is the moment you stop believing in coincidence.”
41. “You are the most significant thing that has ever happened to me and you have not even arrived yet.”
42. “A baby is something you carry inside you for nine months, in your arms for three years, and in your heart until the day you die.”
43. “Before I became a mother, I had a hundred theories about raising children. Now I have children and no theories.”
44. “There is no friendship, no love, like that of the parent for the child.”
45. “The very first moment I beheld you, my heart was yours.”
46. “Growing you is the most important thing I have ever done. Nothing else comes close.”
47. “I loved you before I knew you. I will love you after I am gone. That is how this works.”
48. “You were not a plan. You were something better. You were a certainty.”
49. “A new baby is like the beginning of all things: wonder, hope, a dream of possibilities.”
50. “Before I held you, I thought I understood love. Now I know I was only guessing.”
51. “Pregnancy is the confirmation that something extraordinary is already happening.”
52. “Every time you kick, I fall a little more in love with you.”
53. “You are mine and I am yours and that is the whole story.”
54. “In giving birth to our babies, we may find that we give birth to new possibilities within ourselves.”
55. “To the world you may be one person, but to one person you may be the world.”
56. “A mother’s love for her child is like nothing else in the world. It knows no law, no pity, it dares all things and crushes down remorselessly all that stands in its path.”
57. “Being pregnant is the closest I have ever felt to being a miracle.”
58. “You are the answer to every question I did not know I was asking.”
59. “There are no words for what it is to carry a life you already love this much.”
For the Final Weeks
When the end is in sight and you need something to hold onto.
60. “You never know how strong you are until being strong is your only option.”
61. “The waiting is the hardest part but the arrival is worth every moment of it.”
62. “Birth is not only about making babies. Birth is about making mothers, strong, competent, capable mothers who trust themselves and know their inner strength.”
63. “Your body knows what to do. Trust it.”
64. “In the middle of every difficulty lies opportunity.”
65. “Birth is the sudden opening of a window, through which you look out upon a stupendous prospect.”
66. “You are more capable than you know. You are about to prove it.”
67. “Whatever is coming, you are ready. You have been getting ready for nine months.”
68. “The moment you hold your baby for the first time, nothing that came before it matters at all.”
69. “Labour is the hardest work you will ever do. The payoff is also unlike anything else you will ever experience.”
70. “You did not come this far to only come this far.”
For Partners and Dads
Because growing a family is not a solo project.
71. “Having a child is to know what it is to love something more than yourself.”
72. “A man never stands as tall as when he kneels to help a child.”
73. “Watching your partner become a mother is the most extraordinary thing you will ever see.”
74. “I did not know what I was until I found out I was going to be a father.”
75. “The best thing a father can do for his children is to love their mother.”
76. “Fatherhood is the best thing that could happen to me and I have no idea why it took this long to realise it.”
77. “Being a father means choosing to be there. It is a choice made again every single day.”
78. “We are about to become a family and I have never been so ready for anything in my life.”
79. “She is doing the most incredible thing I have ever witnessed and all I can do is be there. I am there.”
80. “Watching her carry our baby is the most humbling and extraordinary thing I have ever experienced.”
Short and Pinterest-Ready
The ones you screenshot and post. The ones that say everything in a single line.
81. “Growing a life. No big deal. Except it is the biggest deal.”
82. “Currently occupied. Building a person.”
83. “Due date: the best deadline I have ever had.”
84. “Made with love. Powered by carbohydrates.”
85. “We cannot wait to meet you.”
86. “Almost here.”
87. “The best things take time.”
88. “Little one, we have been waiting for you our whole lives.”
89. “Everything is about to change. We are ready.”
90. “She believed she could, so she is.”
91. “You are already so loved.”
92. “This is what hope looks like.”
93. “You were always the missing piece.”
Wrapping It Up
Save the ones that made you stop scrolling. Write them on cards, put them in the nursery, send them to a friend who needs to feel this too.
Pregnancy is one of the few experiences in life that genuinely defies description. But sometimes someone else finds the words. And when they do, they find exactly yours.